Written by: Emily Alston
If you’re anything like me, you’re an observer of humans. A fan of mankind and the nature of their ways. We observe them in their natural habitats - such as grocery stores, parks, traffic stops, ski resorts, schools...
But I’d have to say the most interesting place to find them - festivals.
Here is a small list of some of the people you may see:
The Super Fan:
Their whole outfit is made up of merch from the band they came there to see. Through their transparent crossbody you can see the DIY signs they made asking the lead drummer for his digits. Go talk to them - I bet they will tell you how many times they have seen said band play.
This one pre-gamed way too hard before stepping foot onto the premises. Take a look into their see through bag, see some “sunscreen”? Yeah, that isn’t “sunscreen”....
She’s been missing for hours but somehow knows everyone there. She will most likely be fine as long as she doesn’t put down her clear purse.
This is the two-some conjoined at the hip. You know, the ones where one partner stands in front of the other...the WHOLE time. The only thing catching about them is their team’s cool clear fanny pack, conveniently placed on the belly of the partner who claims the front position of the conjoined hip tango.
The Marlon Brando:
He doesn’t smile or bounce to the music. He seems so unamused, aloof and mysterious. Is he with anyone? Where did he come from? Why is he here? And where did he get that clear backpack?
Vogue is their middle name and posing is their game. You can find them at any aesthetically pleasing location. They don’t know who’s playing and they don’t care. They’re just there for the fans and to show off their new clear designer bag.
The BackUp Singer:
They know every word to EVERY song. Don’t stand in their proximity unless you actually did come there for a rendition of each song by them and the artist.
Bonus: they usually carry folding fans in their stadium bags. Singing is a tough gig and it can get hot out there.
This babe came dressed to the nines but was left at the gate still yelling at the guard who won’t let her in because her Gucci Tote is not a stadium approved bag. Get it together Cheryl.
Next time you go out to a festival, try and spot them all. If you get all 8, that’s a full house and officially the best festival ever!