Emily's Etiquette Series: Online Dating


written by: Emily Alston

Hinge. Tinder. Bumble. Match.com. POF, better known as Plenty of Fish. These are just a few of the online dating options we have in 2020. How lucky are we? We’re all just one click, one swipe away from our happily ever afters. Ah, love! It’s great. 

But it can go wrong! And you can go wrong - online. Not to worry! I’m here to help as always. 

Here are my top Do’s and Don’ts for you online daters.

The Do’s:

Do Use Your Best Selfies for Your Profile
Yes, queen - pull out that lookbook and show those potential suitors why your AIM screen name was “VogueModel07” in middle school. Now is your one and only time to showcase those well-lit bathroom selfies - do it. And be sure to toss in a shot of you holding your fav clear clutch purse to show them how fashionable you are. 

Do Find/Stalk Your Match’s Instagram
You picked your best selfies, right? Well, so did they. It’s time to see what they really look like. I like to call this time of social media exploration, “Beyond the Filter." Start with the old Google search of their name. You’re bound to find an Insta, Facebook, LinkedIn or MySpace on your potential - check it out and make sure you’re into pet Ferrets before the first dinner date. 

Do Be-You(tiful)
Does that title make sense? Cause being you is as beautiful as your clear crossbody bag. Nothing is sexier than authenticity so don’t second guess those pickup lines or clever responses. Your future honey is going to love you for you so shine bright you single star. 

The Don’ts:

Don’t Be A Catfish 
Ew. Who is that? It’s not you, that’s all I know. Now why would you go and use a photo that isn’t you, or current? That’s not right. That’s not authentic like you’re Margo Paige clear backpack - let’s play things straight. Be-you(tiful) remember? 

Don’t Play Games with Your Future Lover
You think they’re cute? You like them? You want to take them for pizza and a stroll? Let them know! It’s 2020 for crying out loud - after a pandemic, we’re all too old for playing games and not being straight with each other. Don’t beat around the bush - tell your match what you’re thinking. If they won’t look great standing next to you and your clear designer bag, let them know hun. 

Don’t Be Afraid of Ghosts
Hey, hey, hey! Let me explain first cause you’ll probably need to play one. Look, there are a bunch of weirdos out there and sometimes you need a clean exit - a swift block and bye. Sometimes you’re just not vibing and it’s only been a few jibs and jabs - you’re gonna want to dip without making a statement. So don’t be sad if someone disappears on you. You know how it goes. Ghosts in 2020 aren’t scary - they’re chill and just don’t like drama. 

Now go grab your cellular from your Margo Paige clear handbag and get to online dating! And please don’t forget to remember your good friend Emily and all her killer tips you used on your partner when you all get hitched! I’d like an invite to the wedding.