Emily's Etiquette Series: Meet the Parents


written by: Emily Alston

So you read my last blog, met your husband online and now you’re about to meet his mom and dad. And you’re like, Emily - what do I do?? It’s scary, I know, but luckily I’m here to help. 

Meeting the parents of your significant other can be quite an ordeal and anxiety is usually in full force. What do I wear? What do I address them as? Should I bring wine? Soooo many questions. 

Let me ease your pain. 

Here are my top Do’s and Don'ts when meeting your future in-laws: 

The Dos:

Do Greet Them in 3 Different Languages. 
Just do it. Impress them right off the bat. I like to give a good, “Hola, Bonjour, Nǐ hǎo” to show off my advanced knowledge their future grandchildren could inherit. Genes are everything these days so it’s good to let them know right away the sperm is in good hands. 

Do Check the Toilet Seat
This one is crucially important. For my sitters - here’s what you don’t want happening. You don’t want to be gabbing away with Cheryl in the hall, realize you’ve had too much Chardonnay and rush to the lavatory without checking the seat. Then you sit down to relieve yourself and now you’ve done it. You’ve taken a tinkle all over their rose carpeted toilet seat cover. 

Or for my standers - you leave without putting the carpet back down, and Cheryl falls right in the dump trunk! Check that seat y’all. 

Do Tell Mom She Looks 27 
Charm, charm, charm away! Her skin - fabulous. Her hair - to die for. Her clear clutch - unreal. You’re Lynda’s biggest fan. At least for the night. She may be your worst enemy come morning but tonight she’s Rihanna. 

The Don’ts: 

Don’t Text and Mingle
You know what, don’t take that phone out of your clear crossbody at all. It’s not polite to text while with company, but with your future Ma and Pa it is downright disrespectful. We won’t have it! Keep the cell tucked away and keep your eyes on the prize. Joining the family tree. 

Don’t Tell Dad Who You’re Voting For this Year 
Politics are off the table tonight my dear. No need to stir up controversy. Keep the convo light and fun. Talk about the football game with Jim Bob and your clear handbag with Kathy. Come back to the hard stuff after baby number 3 pops out and Jim Bob and Kathy can only smile about you both being on opposite parties. 

Don’t Take Shots with the Siblings 
They’ve been waiting all night to get you drunk. Just look at them - up to no good. Don’t fall for it! You can’t stay the night and have your boyfriends Mom waking you up to bacon in the morning. I feel like I say this a lot, but stick to 1 or 2 drinks, and know when to thank them for the night and bounce on out of that house. 

Alright hun, don’t blow it. I know you got this though - with my tips, you’ll never fail. 

Oh, and don’t forget to bring along your Margo Paige bag. They’re Mom and Dad approved.